For those of you who haven’t heard about my near death experiences last week I have decided to write a story.  There are even rumors of ABC picking it up this fall as a mini-series.

Date: 5/9/09

Time:  10:30 am

Place: Woodcock

This is my story

The seas were angry my friend. 

As I arrived at the cock I noticed that it was a little more windy than normal. 

No problem I thought, I would just go back into the feeder stream to do some fine Muskie fishing.  A few hours in I noticed the tree tops being thrashed by the increasing wind, but I was doing just fine down in the belly of the stream.

Not long after I landed my first Muskie of the day.  A nice 25” landed on the famous firetiger.   But what I didn’t realize is that it would also be my last.

Sometime over the next hours or so I nearly shit my pants when I heard an ear splitting noise coming from the trees right next to shore.  I loud cracking sound echoed thru the whole valley.  My head was on a swivel because I didn’t know which way it was coming from.  Luckily a giant falling tree managed to stay on the land and I was safe for now. 

After my first view of death, I thought that it might be time to call it a day and head back.

That was easier said than done.

When I drove the SS Minnow out of the calm, protected waters of the stream, I found my self confronted with 60 mpf winds and 4 foot white caps.  It looked like I made a wrong turn and wound up on Lake Erie. 

The Minnow was taking on a lot of water.  I strapped on my life jacked and buckled down for the long ride back.  The engine was barely keeping up with the pounding waves.  The hull of the boat would rise up out of the water and come crashing back down like a blue whale in mating season. 

The waves were relentless and I saw another boat taking shelter in a small cove.  I decided to do the same.  After talking with that guy, he said that it was to get even worse as the day went on and he was going to try to make it back now.  I tried to follow him back but the Minnows motor just couldn’t keep up.  

He told me to keep going and take the waves head on.  Well that worked for about 100 yards when all of a sudden I was hit port side by a rogue wave.  It turned the boat side ways and before I knew it another wave have come crashing down and swamped half of the boat.  The other guy must have seen the mayhem that was unfolding and was shouting for me to get over to the shore.  Suddenly another wave floods the motor.  The engine is barely running, I’ve got a boat half full of water and I’m still 40 yards off shore.  By this time sheer panic has set in.  I have both the main motor and the trolling motor at full bore.  As I inch closer and closer to shore I can hear the main motor sputtering out.  I have only one chance, and that was to reach a nearby beach area.  If I don’t make it the boat will be crushed up against a rocky cliff and no doubt sink to the bottom of the cock.

Closer and closer I inched to the shore then with 15 yards to go the engine dies and I am left helpless in the waves.  With out thinking I grab the anchor rope and jump overboard.  Luckily I made it in close enough that the water was only up to my waist.  Both the boat and waves were being pushed up on top of me but I was able to fight my way to the beach, finally.  Safe at last. 

You would think the story ends here but its only just began.

Now that I am resting on a deserted beach I look around and find that the beach doesn’t open for another month and has an 8’ fence surrounding the entire thing.

Now what do I do?  I climb the fence and start walking the mile or two back to the dock.  Luckily I was able to hitch a ride with a passing car.  When I arrived back at the docks the other boat was just pulling in.  They ran over and glad to see that I made it.  They were just on their way over to see if I was OK. 

After getting the truck I decided to drive around and find out who had keys to unlock the gates at the beach.  Nothing turned up after 30 minutes of searching so I headed back to see what else I could do.  I thought if I could just unload everything I may be able to just hide the boat in the woods until the next day.  So I make 10 or so trips back and forth to and from the boat with all of my fishing shit, including the motors.  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I bet my dad has some tools in his truck that might come in use.  I looked under the seat and to my amazement I found a hack saw.

Needless to say, that fence didn’t have a chance.  After opening the gates I drove down onto the beach and dragged the crippled vessel back onto the trailer.  After a very long day on the lake I loaded up the gear and was finally on my way home.

Moral of the story: don’t fuck with a Cisler and his hacksaw.

Hope you all enjoyed and I will back at it in another week or two for another episode.

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